Purging the Pattern of Pursuing the Practical


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Though the thoughts are fleeting, I have asked myself what happened to that little girl who used to fantasize and had no doubts about taking on the world with her outrageous ideas? I considered in part it was “meant to be.” That little girl was just caught up in the wonders of the world. Now she was grounded…practical…and realistic about her goals.

Or was that my problem?

About a week ago, in an attempt to get me focused on what matters, and to rid myself of the negativity flooding my heart and soul, I woke up a little earlier than usual and decided to catch up on my Internet Cafe Devotions.

Right away, I’m drawn to the post with these words:

I think we grow up too fast and forget that we are allowed to day dream… {Exceedingly, Abundantly, Above}

The timing could not have been more perfect. Just the day before I had printed out the plans for my “dream home” on a whim. Although we are years away from this being realistic in any way, I felt the urge to put in on my wall. I needed something to work toward– a tangible goal. More than just a big house on a hill, this dream home is about stability, a place for our family to gather and a place where I can write full-time one day. This is where I imagine my children will sit with us under the gazebo, and announce their engagements and then, a couple of years later, their “news” we will be grandparents. This is the only home I want our grandchildren to know as ours.

orig scan @ 300 12Nov04 - 20 11x17I had dared to dream for the first time in forever.

Many years ago I had dreams of being a mother and a writer. I had dreams of working at a job where I could use all of my administrative and computer skills, but where the environment wasn’t so stressful it made me sick (as jobs had in the past). I had dreams of my girls finishing high school and going off to college. I had the dream of a life-long marriage where my husband and I could enjoy life together and support each other in achieving our personal goals.

Once these dreams began to actually happen I got so caught up living them; I forgot to dream some more! At some point, my “dreams” became “goals.” At some point, my practical side took over. A “dream” isn’t achievable, but a “goal” is. When exactly did I become so practical, I lost hope in achieving the impossible?

In part, my faith has led me to this way of thinking. I see my life as a matter of dependency on God’s grace and mercy–and that blessing will only come from my hard work and diligence–so what right do I have to dream?

Reading on in the devotion, I find I have more in common with the author, Melissa Mashburn (@Mels_World). She also used to take on a project or activity with her whole heart and soul–not giving mind to what others thought. But then her timing was off and one day someone shot her down verbally.

That’s me too. I used to be full of grand ideas and willing to take on anything. Yet, over the years, various people have shot me down.

We can’t do that because…

You haven’t though about…

Do you know how much time that will take…

Be realistic, you’re a mom and wife…

There is a season for that and you’re not in it…

I used to want to be a leader, a person of change.

Now I play a supportive role, a follower. And maybe there is a part of me that needs to embrace that role at times.

But there is also a part of me allowing others to hold me back. I don’t think they intend to discourage me. I don’t expect others to follow my lead, but I would like them to support me in my ventures to achieve my dreams–even if they are not practical in the least!

So off I go… in preparation for attending my very first writer’s conference, and taking one step closer to my dream of becoming a published author of inspirational fiction.

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